


my own body in my arms

by yasaman



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Humans are aliens too, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Other, Xenophilia, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 00:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17152331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasaman/pseuds/yasaman
Summary: Venom doesn’t get humans, he really doesn’t. Or: Venom learns about humanity's xenoboner.





	my own body in my arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heather](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heather/gifts).



> Hope you like this quick treat!

“Venom, you gotta stop making it so...weird,” mutters Eddie.

They’re on the train, headed back home, and Venom does not like the screeching clatter of this inconvenient method of conveyance. But Eddie’s bike is at the shop getting fixed, and though Venom had made a game attempt at fixing it himself, the thing was just too damn primitive for him to make sense of. So he’s already annoyed, even if he is pleasantly full of evildoer, and that’s why he doesn’t bother to suppress the acrid ripple of annoyance that he knows manifests as discordant bitterness on Eddie’s tongue.

They’ve been over this: Venom needs to eat just like Eddie does, and if Eddie thinks that’s gross, well then Eddie just has to deal with it, because Venom thinks _defecation_ is gross but he doesn’t get all offended about that, now does he. Symbiosis is about _compromises_.

 _What? The eating people?_ Venom asks Eddie. _Because I told you, that’s just the nutrient and energy requirements of my species. And you said we could eat bad people, and that guy was bad. Or should I be eating like you eat?_

Venom rifles around Eddie’s brain for the appropriate image and supplies it to Eddie: Venom sitting primly at a white cloth covered table, using a knife and fork to saw at a human head.

“Gross! Gross gross gross gross, no, that is not what I mean!” hisses Eddie, hunkering down into his seat, his eyes darting around shiftily as if the other people in the train can hear Venom.

_Then what! I need to eat!_

“Yeah, no, I get that, I do, and I got no problem with you eating that guy, he was killing innocent homeless people, and god knows the cops don’t give a shit, just—maybe, uh, less with the tentacle action, you know? It’s, uh, weird.”

_How is it weird? I was just ensuring that he wouldn’t struggle so much. Make him go down easier._

“Uh...huh. Right. But, uh, did you have to...like, with all the...slime, and the caressing tentacles…”

_That’s to help with digestion, Eddie. Your inside parts are just like that too! And you said not to make a mess, and there wasn’t even any blood splatter this time, so I don’t know what you mean by “making it weird.”_

Venom doesn’t get humans, he really doesn’t. It’s kind of exciting, actually, way more exciting than hurtling through space on a comet. Annoying right now though. Eddie should just say what he means, but even his thoughts have gone all vague and embarrassed. There’s some taboo here, Venom figures, but if Eddie’s not gonna be clear about it, he can’t be mad when Venom breaks whatever dumb human taboo this is.

“Never mind. It’s fine, you’re fine, we’re fine,” mutters Eddie.

Whatever. Venom will figure it out eventually. Symbiosis with sentient beings always has a learning curve when it comes to cultural and biological norms. So he’s been told, anyway.

*

When Venom does figure it out, it’s…less than ideal.

They’re hunting some assholes Eddie calls “venture capitalists turned literal vampires,” who are harvesting youthful human blood in pursuit of their own immortality.

 _So, parasites,_ says Venom as Eddie looks over the business plan while they wait for their target. Venom’s not interested. It seems like a lot of words that boil down to _parasitism that will almost certainly lead to the collapse of the species if left unchecked_. Venom would know. The Klyntar have definitely fucked that one up before on other planets.

“Yeah, even more parasitic than capitalists usually are, even,” says Eddie. “I mean, Jesus, they want to _literally_ bleed people dry to stay young themselves.”

Venom’s no scientist, but he does have some pretty intimate, practical knowledge of the human body by this point, and he doesn’t think human blood or human bodies work that way. He withdraws his attention from the dumb business plan and the so-far boring stakeout in front of the venture vampire’s gym, and checks Eddie’s blood cells just to make sure, focusing his attention on all their minute structures and their precious cargo of oxygen. There’s a whole other world down here at the cellular level, and yet, it is all still Eddie: still his DNA, each tiny cell carrying the entire blueprint of everything Eddie is, each cell and each substructure within it with their own vital jobs. Venom marvels that all these millions of little cells keep Eddie alive, all while Eddie himself scarcely feels them. Humans are _so_ _interesting_.

Venom retreats from the micro and returns to the macro. _Eddie, I do not think young blood would improve your functioning any_.

“Probably not,” says Eddie. “Hey, here he comes.”

Venom envelops Eddie, and they stalk their quarry. They have some fun with it, herding the guy into an empty, dark parking lot. Venom particularly enjoys the way he’s looking around wildly, and the, ha, bloodless, white cast to his face. Venom scents the air with their tongue, and tastes the venture vampire’s flop sweat, the sour tang of his fear as he shakes and cowers.

“What—what do you want? Like, bro, I don’t have any cash, okay? No one carries cash anymore! But I’ll give you my iPhone and my Apple Watch—it’s rose gold! Real gold!—and my Fitbit—”

“ **An Apple Watch _and_ a Fitbit?**” they say. “ **Redundant!** ”

Venom manifests some tendrils and tentacles to keep the vampire from running, while Eddie takes over to ask the right questions. It takes only a small fraction of Venom’s strength to keep the man immobilized. So the vampire’s gym time had clearly been useless. Good thing his Eddie doesn’t need it. He has Venom for that.

 _Can I eat him yet_? asks Venom, impatient now, and only gets a vague sense of _not yet, dear_ from Eddie. Ugh. Boring. Venom squeezes the venture vampire harder, for lack of anything better to do, but bizarrely, the fear pheromones recede in favor of a new smell, musky and intriguing. It takes Venom too long to place it, in this new context.

_Eddie! Why is our prey aroused? I am not touching his genitalia!_

There’s a spike of alarm and embarrassment from Eddie. _Uh, I’ll explain later_ , Eddie tells him, and refocuses his attention on questioning their prey. Whose pupils are dilated, his pallor now gone, his cheeks flushed, and his mouth open and panting. He strains ineffectually against Venom’s tendrils, and moans in…fear? Venom licks his face. The man whimpers and it trails off into a moan. Blech. No, not fear. Venom lets him go.

“ **Are you _aroused_ , vampire?**”

“You—you can do whatever you want to me. Just—please. Please.”

“ **Anything?** ”

“Yeah, yeah, just—your tentacles—”

Venom wouldn’t call them _tentacles_. They’re not an _octopus_. Venom just needs extra limbs sometimes.

“ **And if I want to eat you?** ” he asks.

The man moans, and fumbles at his pants. Eddie’s consciousness goes _!!!!_

“Yeah, please, I wanna be inside you—”

“ **I intend to literally consume you. That cannot possibly arouse you,** ” says Venom, even as the evidence of their senses tells them otherwise.

Eddie snatches control from Venom and uses their arm to knock the vampire out with one punch.

_Awww, Eddie! Come on, I had more questions!_

Venom retreats back into Eddie, and immediately starts rooting around in Eddie’s memories for some context for what just happened. Eddie shoves him out crudely. He’s only just beginning to get the hang of sharing a mind, but he is trying very hard, so Venom retreats.

“I’ll explain later!”

_I wasn’t touching any genitalia, I promise! No bad touches!_

Eddie laughs, high and nervous. “I know you weren’t, buddy! It’s, uh, complicated, I’ll tell—”

_Was it about your species’ baffling erogenous zones? I was not touching any of those either!_

*

When they get home, Venom loots the chocolate stash while Eddie takes notes on whatever the vampire told them. The chocolate is a poor substitute for fresh food, but still tasty. When Eddie’s done, Venom curls around him.

 _Eeeedddiieeee,_ he croons, and squeezes Eddie a little tighter, like he had with the human parasite, testing. Eddie’s muscles relax, letting Venom take his weight. No arousal pheromones though. Just the sweetness of oxytocin and the hot remnants of adrenaline. _Tell me what happened earlier_.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” says Eddie with a sigh. “So, uh, some humans like being tied up. Like how you can tie them up with your—limbs.”

Venom rumbles dubiously. Anne tying Eddie up with some big string doesn’t seem anything like what Venom did to the man, not really, but okay.

_He said he wanted me to eat him. That is not rational behavior._

“Um, yeah, he didn’t mean it _that_ way. Like, not literal eating. Probably. Oh god. Anyway, he meant, like, metaphorically. Sexily. It’s a thing, don’t worry about it.”

*

Venom doesn’t _worry_ about it. He just—wonders. So when Eddie’s asleep, he fetches the laptop and uses Google. Earth is a backwards planet in a lot of ways, but the availability of information isn’t one of them. He remembers what the man had said, and searches _tentacles sex_.

The results are enlightening. The results are _nasty_.

_Eddie. Eddie Eddie EDDIE!_

Eddie flails awake. “What? What is it?” Venom drops the laptop on him and points multiple tendrils at the screen. “Augh!”

_Explain this!_

“Oh no…”

_Your species cannot procreate in this fashion, can they? No viable hybrid would result._

Eddie cocks his head and looks at the image of many tentacles writhing around a naked human. “Nooo…”

_So what is the purpose?_

Eddie groans and sits up in bed. “Well, uh, I told you that humans, um, also have sex for, you know, emotional reasons? Not just procreation?”

_To strengthen bonds, have feelings, yes, I know. No such creature as this exists though, and it is not physically compatible with your species. So why would you bond with it?_

“Oh boy. Uh, humans have…wide tastes, and um, really active imaginations. Lotta, you know, erogenous zones?” Eddie says, then winces, internally cringing from his own words.

 _So that parasite man was aroused by me?_ Venom forms more limbs—tentacles—and waves them. _By this_?

“Probably,” says Eddie with a sigh.

 _Eeewww_ , says Venom, with equal parts disgust and delight. _Why?_

A variety of alarming and intriguing images flash rapidly across Eddie’s mind, all of them entirely different from Eddie’s memories of his own prior sexual encounters.

“Other planets aren’t like this?” asks Eddie.

 _No, not really. You nasty, Eddie_.

“Okay, I think I have perfectly reasonable, average sexual tastes, it’s just that humans, as a whole, are, uh, into a lot of different—”

Venom pokes at the little frisson of arousal shivering through Eddie’s brain as Eddie focuses on the crude image still on the laptop screen. Distant echoes of feeling bounce around Eddie’s brain, mirror neurons conjuring up sensation out of the visual input. Venom feels it too, tantalizing impressions of fullness and being held so tightly it was like being consumed. Humans are _so responsive_ , thinks Venom.

 _Really?_ murmurs Venom, and wraps around Eddie tightly, tightly. _That’s average? Humans are really weird_. _And gross._

“That’s fair,” says Eddie, relaxing into Venom’s hold. The swirls of arousal flowing through his limbic system drain away and leave drowsiness behind. “I told you, you gotta take it easy on the tentacle action or we’re gonna get a whole different kind of attention. Uh. Do you—do you _want_ that kind of attention?”

_My species reproduce asexually. Efficient! Not likely to lead to disastrous interspecies sexual experiments!_

Venom eases Eddie back down into the bed as he grumbles and thinks vague, funny thoughts about aliens and probes. Venom tucks the covers back in over him, and fetches the laptop, setting it gently back down on the desk. Venom has more research to do—there are many possibilities he had never considered when he’d first bonded with Eddie—but first, he has to take care of his Eddie. There'll be time to consider the rest later.


End file.
